-keepsmiling:

One time I heard my boyfriend had sex with another girl. So I called and asked him about it and he denied it, so I called the girl and she denied it too, and then I called my boyfriend back and told him that the girl had told me everything and he replied with “it was just one time. It meant nothing.” And then I replied with “fuck you, she didn’t tell me anything.” And that’s still my favorite story to tell.

(via alexiaebio)

fasterfood:

f- *looks around* fuck the..*sweats profusely* fuck the..the..the police *SWAT team surrounds and invades my house* sorry SORRY

(via stephaniecalanza)

terra-mater:

15 amazing things in nature you won’t believe actually exist

Source

(via noahthecat)

Timestamp: 1371532377

royal-high:

a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english  he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work

(Source: d4nky, via alexiaebio)

theanti90smovement:

when u think about it hair is extrememly fucked up its literally just this weird shit growing out of ur skin and sometimes u shave it off and sometimes u wash it and brush it 

(via alexiaebio)

loser-queen:

following back similar

(via alexiaebio)

Timestamp: 1371532156

notchantelle:

i can’t believe she said this in real life omg??!??!!!

(via cyrilleecasimeroo)

Timestamp: 1371532091

twerknugget:

it’s kinda awkward when you’re friends with 1 or 2 people from a certain group but not the rest and you have no idea why

(via cyrilleecasimeroo)